We have so much to do, so many places to go, not enough time – conflicting needs. I hope I will be able to look back at this time some day and be glad for the time and that its passed. Juggling Teddy’s business with his Grandma’s care is next to impossible. The strain is hard on the business. But Teddy needs this lesson – the lesson that even when times are tough the tough get going. Life isn’t fair. Nobody promised you a rose garden. All those cliches. All true – sort of.
Please bear with us while Teddy is trying to find himself in this new way of being an adult. Somedays the strain shows on Teddy more than other days. If you’ve witnessed it when he’s been overwrought, please understand he doesn’t handle his emotions like a typical 30 year old. He’s making some pretty bad errors in judgement. He’s still a good man, just at times a man who has more on his plate than he can handle.
Well we went to Washington to the Arc conference and it didn’t go as well as we had hoped for. Teddy had pretty good sales, but not even half of what we needed to cover the costs. I didn’t expect to make a profit, but I was hoping for more. Next year is in Louisiana and we have to figure out a way to get some of the costs paid for by someone else.
Our presentation was brief to say the least. We followed a group of 4 who were supposed to present for 40 minutes, but went over. Than the next presentation went over too. So when it was our turn we had to switch over to our powerpoint and we got hijacked by one of the other presenters. We had planned to start our presentation before the slides – expecting Teddy to show off his shirts while I did the tech. That sort of happened, but not quite the way we planned. We got through 10 of our 17 slides and then the hijacker just pulled the plug. If I sound a bit peeved, I am. It was a big commitment for us to be there and we did it in part to present.
But what really has me unsettled is that the same person who hijacked our presentation also made some really horrid comments about me. One of the people who told me about them said don’t be bothered by them, she is just projecting. She said I was making Teddy retarded. I was keeping him down. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and just can’t see it. I know there are a few family idiosyncracies that are a bit immature, but I think all families have those. (I call Teddy ‘baby bear’ is the worst I do.) So I am trying to forget this and move on, but for the time being it’s still leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
Added later: I spoke to Teddy’s cousin about this and asked her what she thought. She got enraged rather quickly and said I did a few weird things, but I pushed Teddy to be his best. I evidently kiss Teddy too much. She says on the mouth, but since I deliberately avoid doing that and kiss him on the nose, I’m not so sure about her observation. I shouldn’t let this bug me, but it does. I need to figure out how to put some closure on it.